|If my brother was talking to me...
||[Sep. 27th, 2010|03:18 am]
You told me that I should have stayed...and we could have worked it out together as a family. But...I told you about the biggest decision I had ever made in my life...and you told me that I could never be your brother. You told me that you would support me but you didn't understand why I had to change my name...or go on hormones. So when you refused to try....when you refused to call me by my chosen name and ignored the changes going on in my life, I left. I left because it wasn't healthy for me to be around you or mom. When I was around you, I felt like I was going backwards...I didn't have any validation or support. I had nothing when I was around you. So I left. You thought I was selfish...you thought we could have worked through it together. You told me I didn't give you enough time. But...the time never expired. The sand is still falling and you are still...not...doing anything. Is it time yet? Is 17 months enough? I haven't spoken to you since December and the only reason that happened was because we were at the family Christmas dinner. |
I wanted to live my life. I was falling apart and you didn't try to save me.. I told you that I was in therapy. I told you that I was a mess. I told you that I NEEDED HELP. And then...months later...after I left, and you told me we could have "worked through it together," I responded, "But I told you that I was in therapy...I told you that I was depressed. I told you that there were days that I couldn't get out of bed." You said, "I didn't realize it was that serious." You thought I was...what...being dramatic? Did you think I was lying? You didn't take me seriously...you didn't try to help me. You didn't want to know what was happening. And, honestly...blood only goes so far. I do have a family right now...who loves me and supports me for who I am and who I have become...and you aren't in it. I don't even know you...and I'm not sure if you ever really knew me to begin with.